The Power of Thank You
Have you experienced what it feels like to slow down on the freeway in order to let someone change lanes, only to be left waiting for that “wave of appreciation”? Have you opened the door for someone as you entered a Starbucks only to have the person stare at his shoes and walk right past you as you held the door open? How about the experience of receiving an email from someone who is asking for assistance with their job search? You spend 5, 10 or 20 minutes calling or emailing one of your colleagues to facilitate an introduction to your “friend”, and after you orchestrate the introduction, this so-called friend disappears?
While the third example may seem uniquely different from the first two, the result is not - your desire to help someone in the future is diminished simply because this individual failed to say “Thank You!”
In our world of instant communication and worldwide accessibility, it is far too easy to hide behind the impersonal shield of email and text messaging. In our rush to get more information, faster, many of us forget that there is another person on the other end of that text. Whether the mode of communication is a computer, a PDA or a cell phone, it fails to qualify as “communication” if only one party is providing input and feedback. We risk losing the emotional connection if we simply treat the exchange as a means to get something out of the other party. This is especially true when it comes to job search.
When we reach out to our network of contacts, enlisting their guidance and support, we are attempting to make an emotional connection. Embedded in our request for help is a desire for the other person to empathize with our situation, thus motivating them to want to help us. If we fail to acknowledge that empathy by neglecting to thank them for their effort, the emotional connection is severed.
After 11 years of recruiting and coaching, I am continually impressed by professionals who take the time to thank me for my effort to assist them in their search – those that send a hand-written note get bonus points! And although it occurs about 30% of the time, I am equally saddened by the number of professionals who fail to offer a simple “thank you” after I have spent time providing them with information, an introduction or market intelligence. I have experienced this across all demographics and ethnicities, it transcends disciplines and industries, and it is visible in every age group.
The good news is that it is something we can control! With all of the bad news in the world today, the one thing that we can improve is our appreciation of friends and colleagues. When someone offers to help you with your job search by introducing you to someone in their network, thank them for their effort. When your friend sends you a list of companies or contacts that might be of interest, thank them for thinking of you. If your former employer sends you a job posting that she came across in her networking, thank her for taking the time to send you the information.
Continued in next column >
“The most important criteria is the ability to work with a recruiter who takes the time to truly listen, gaining a genuine understanding of the open position....."
In my coaching practice and during presentations to job seekers, I encourage people to treat an email or text as though it was a phone conversation. If you are engaged in a phone call and the other person provides you with some advice or a suggestion, you don’t respond with silence. Your response is usually “Thank you. I really appreciate your suggestion.” Email and text conversations should be no different. If you respond with silence and fail to acknowledge their contribution, I guarantee they will be much less likely to help you in the future.
Think back to the three scenarios at the beginning of this article. If you had received a “wave of appreciation” from the other driver, or a thank you and a smile from the person at Starbucks, you would have come away from the experience uplifted and feeling good. Apply this same feeling to your job search, and you will emerge with the same feeling as you exercise your ability to help someone in their time of need.
“Thank you” for reading this article!
