"Help me, Help You"

Not a day goes by without another headline declaring the latest economic disaster – “Latest numbers indicate the worst (pick your metric) in decades”. Just as Brian Williams encouraged his viewers to send him positive news stories at the end of his “Nightly News” broadcast last week – which, incidentally, resulted in a deluge of uplifting and inspiring emails and letters – I think it is time to focus on things that are within our control by identifying ways in which we can help one another.

To that end, I am going to borrow a line from one of my favorite movies, Jerry Maguire. In one of the more famous scenes, Tom Cruise’s character, Jerry Maguire, is imploring Rod Tidwell, played by Cuba Gooding Jr., to provide him with some support that will allow him to help Rod in his quest for a new football contract. “You don’t know what it is like being out here for you” declares Jerry. He goes on to say, “Help me, help you!”

How does this relate to the current economic downturn? I have always been an advocate of seeking help from your “Sphere of Influence” – neighbors, professional colleagues, friends and family. In our coaching practice, we talk about the power of asking for an introduction vs. asking for a job. What’s the difference? We all know how difficult it is to secure a job right now. And while there are many good companies that are hiring good people, it is much more difficult to uncover those open positions. We also know how difficult it is when a colleague or friend asks you to assist her with finding a job. It is in our nature as human beings to want to help. We struggle for a way to provide some support or guidance to our friend in need. However, the dialogue usually goes something like this, without any tangible results:

“Tom, hi it’s Sally. How are you? I have not spoken with you in a while. I have been looking for a new position as an Operations Manager over the past few months and I am hoping that you can help me out with my job search.”

“Sally, I am so sorry to hear that you were laid off”, replies Tom. “It must be rough out there given the job market. You know, I can’t think of anyone that is looking to hire an Operations Manager right now but if you send me your resume, I will certainly keep you in mind.”

In my experience, Sally has much more control over the outcome than she thinks. The key is finding a way to “help Tom, help her”. This is accomplished by changing the focus of the conversation from “I have been looking for a new position” to something more productive and specific.

Here is what I recommend:

“Tom, hi it’s Sally. How are you? As you may know, I have been meeting with companies in hopes of securing a new Operations Manager position. I am looking for introductions to operational leaders such as Presidents, COOs or VPs of Quality. I am hoping to stay in the high tech arena here in San Diego, working for a company like ViaSat or Maxwell Technologies. You have always been so good at networking. Is there anyone in your network that I should talk to?”

As soon as Sally redefines her request, providing Tom with some specifics, it allows Tom to expand his ability to assist her. By providing him with some concrete examples of how he can help, Tom becomes much more effective. Now, rather than trying to identify colleagues that are currently hiring operations professionals, he can focus on introducing Sally to professionals in his network that are willing to talk to her – this is much less daunting.

Continued in next column >